BS Johnson’s Chris Malry’s own double entry

Extremely clever rendition by Johnson  of a bored accounts clerk who decides
to square it with fate with his very own double entry ‘reckoning’ by going ‘postal
worker’ : debit Christie Malry, credit the body count. The ratio seems to work
out roughly to several hundred corpses for every time his boss shouts at
him.  Which is not to say that he’s got
double entry right here:  what I’ve
retained from accountancy 101 makes me cringe at this blatant misuse of credit
and debit (done deliberately I believe, as Johnson worked in accounts for six
years. He must have had SOME inkling).
Debit does not mean take away from, reduce, diminish or anything remotely
like that. It simply means a sum is entered on the LEFT hand side of the
equation. Nothing more. Similarly credit. Its not an increase, just a right
hand sum.  Not to mention, if your boss
shouts and you decide to debit, you can’t credit by shouting back. Thats not
double entry, because its the same variable in two different events in the
space time continuum. .  It would have to
work a little like this:

Boss shouts

Dr Assets (you now have a shout, which you didn’t before you
were shouted at)

Cr Liabilities. Name it anything, like I’m gonna get you
sucka’. (You owe the boss a shout back)

Now, when you’re ready to shout back, (or kill 300 people or
whatever)

Cr Assets (you’ve just shouted back and depleted your stored
shout)

Dr Liabilities (or the sucka account)  (you no longer owe a shout. Accounts are
square).

 

Phew. I AM getting anally retentive, but what do you expect,
this is double entry not double entendre.

Did I mention this is an experimental novel? Beautifully
rendered.  And no, its not about
accounting.

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